Sunday, July 22, 2018

Bad Guy Beatdown Round 15 - Nemesis

Oh man, I've been waiting for this one. One's a 50 feet robot, and the other is three mean girls.

Technically that's not true.  While Nemesis does have all the strength and abilities, not all of it is accessible to him.  Let's do a very brief history of the Robotix and you'll see what I mean.  The home planet of the Robotix was inhabited by two main races - the peaceful Protectons and the reptilian Terracores, which Nemesis lead.  When the planet was threatened by destruction, both races decided their best course for survival was to enter suspended animation and send their ship into the stars.  To preserve their bodies, the ships main program, Compucore, was able to upload the Protectons' and Terracore's essences into the Robotix, large robots they used for manual labor. 

I know it's a lot of info, but we're almost there.  The good and bad Robotix began fighting as soon as they were awakened, but they were unfamiliar to their new bodies, so they couldn't do much more than throw a punch.  But when humans landed on the planet, they went into the Robotix's control console and were able to interface, which granted the Robotix with more abilities, weapons, and configurations.


Nemesis was joined by Kanawk, the leader of the selfish humans on the space crew, who was as much a schemer as Nemesis.  While Nemesis was capable of just about nothing before besides tossing Protetons around before, Kanawk was able to activate a bunch of weird configurations in him, starting with an extending drillbit from Nemesis's mouth that opened up to expose a camera.  That's just about the weirdest thing you'll see in the cartoon - I mean, why couldn't it have come out of his hand?  Instead, it looks like he's puking up a metal worm.

Anyway, beyond that, Nemesis mostly gets upgrades to his hands - in fact, instead of reconfiguring his entire body like most of the Robotix can, turning them into vehicles or ladders, even, Nemesis doesn't change his shape at all.  Rather, most of the changes are in his left hand, which is a small three-pronged claw, which he can extend before interfacing.  He's got a cannon on his shoulder, but I'm not sure if interfacing is required to use it.  His other hand, which is also a claw, but closer to a pincher, I guess, has two extra features - an energy whip, which can cut through a tree big enough to support Nemesis's weight, and then a data link to control a computer.

While the other Robotix can convert into wheeled or even flying vehicles, Nemesis is too good for that, depending on 95% of the time.  Only on two occasions did he move by other means and one of them you can't even tell what he's doing.  I think his feet have turned into tank treads, but it's hard to tell if his feet always looked like that.  The other time, he flew with rocket boosters on his feet. 


That's it for Nemesis's abilities, but how is he at leading?  Definitely not good since half way through the movie - I should mention that this wasn't a full series, but was a movie made up of 16 shorts - Nemesis is taken out by his second-in-command, Trannix, shot in the back and knocked off a cliff.  What is it with Hasbro cartoons where the leader has a backstabber as his lieutenant?  He comes back a few minutes later and doesn't even do anything for revenge on Trannix.  That's lame!  He could have at least yelled at him, but the next time they're together, there's not even a mention of it.  He was able to capture two of the Protectons and replace their programming with other Terracores, including their leader, but that one was reversed pretty quickly.  the other one was left as a spy, but it didn't amount to anything. 

It's really telling that a villains only real defining feature is Peter Cullen's villainous voice - unlike Venger, who had the voice but kicked ass as well.  Nemesis is probably the most disappointing thing about his cartoon - the most boring robot mode, no other configurations, and loss of control over his 4 - yes 4! - subordinates.  I'd say that doesn't bode well for him, but I think he lucked out with his opponent.

Click here if you want to see my original thoughts of Nemesis from when I was a kid for some more degradation of this guy.

Thursday, July 19, 2018

Bad Guy Beatdown Round 14 Results

Cobra Commander strode through the halls of the Terrordrome, ranting at the bald scientist following him.  “Humanoid dinosaurs, Dr. Mindbender!” he shouted. “You fail to produce anything with that much potential and I find out they’re already roaming the Earth?”
“But Cobra Commander, we don’t know what these creatures are!”
“What does it matter?” the commander said, holding up his hand for the doctor to stop as he approached to a squad of Cobra soldiers.  “You five, arm up your Viper Gliders. We’re going hunting.”
The troopers turned to salute and shouted “Cobra!”  They ran towards the hangar with Cobra Commander following them.  
Dr. Mindbender took to his heel, continuing his unsolicited warnings.  “Sir, we don’t know anything about these creatures. They could be aliens for all we know!”
Cobra Commander spun to face his subordinate.  “I still don’t see what that would be a concern, Doctor.  Our surveillance shows that only two of three of the creatures are together at any time.  We have superior numbers and firepower, there’s no way we could lose!”
“But if they are from space, or another dimension even, they could have weaponry we could never dream of.  We need to consider--”
“No, doctor, you need to consider what your next words are.  Your petty experiments have wrought nothing but trouble for Cobra.  Perhaps when we retrieve these creatures, I’ll allow you to synthesize them to be new Cobra troopers.  Until then, I don’t want to hear another word about your cowardly concerns. Do you understand?”
“Perhaps Dr. Mindbender has a point, Commander.”
Cobra Commander dropped his head back in frustration.  “And you have concerns as well, Destro?”
“Not concerns,” the silver-headed man said, offering the commander a pistol,” just a suggestion that you arm yourself with more than your charming personality.”
Cobra Commander snatched the weapon from Destro’s hand and hurried away to the helicopter hangar, while his two bald-headed minions looked at each other in disappointment.

The Tyrannos stomped their way across the canyon, shoulders slumped and breathing deep.  Genghis Rex lead the way, mumbling under his breath about his latest defeat to the Dinosaucers.
“Uh, Bossasaur?” Ankylo muttered from behind him.
Genghis spun around and dropped to Ankylo’s level so fast the smaller Tyranno fell backwards.  “Can’t you see I’m busy formulating our next plan to defeat the Dinosaucers and steal the Dinovolving technology from them?”
Quackpot leaned close to Plesio and covered his bill with his hand.  “I thought he was just whining?”
“What did you say, Duck-breath?” Genghis said, taking a step towards Quackpot and shaking his big red fists.
“Nothing, Chiefasaurus!” Quackpot jumped back, smacking Plesio’s lowered head with his own.
“That’s what I thought!  Now, the next one who interrupts my planning is going to get a shot of my Fossilizer!”
“But Bossasaur, look up there!” Ankylo shouted, his finger raised up into the air.
Genghis turned to look into the sky and saw six small flying vessels approach.  “Dinosaucers?” It didn’t seem likely as they’d never chased the Tyrannos away after they’d actually defeated them, preferring to stand around and laugh as Genghis and his goons slunk away.  This latest rout was particularly humiliating, as Genghis--. He shook his head. Next time will be different.
“They’re coming right for us!” Plesio said just as the five winged vehicles opened fire.  Red laser fire filled the air as each vehicle made a pass at the grouped Tyrannos. Ankylo and Quackpot both fled into a crevasse inside the canyon wall while Plesio jumped into the river below.
“Cowards!” Genghis roared, the shoots whizzing by him.  He charged across the field, dodging fire, towards his personal ship.  He jumped inside and fired off the rockets, launching into the air to pursue his attackers.  “You fools think a handful of hang-gliders can destroy a Reptilon ship?” In short work, Genghis had blasted all five gliders out of the sky, each pilot parachuting safely to the ground.  He turned his attention to the final flier, a small helicopter firing a barrage of missiles at him. Genghis’s rocket-powered ship easily evaded the primitive weaponry and he flew close enough to the helicopter for his ship’s articulated claws to grab ahold of it.   With a powerful hydraulic yank, the helicopter split in two, spilling its pilot into the air before another parachute was deployed.
On the ground, the first five pilots were firing their rifles at Genghis’s ship with the same underwhelming accuracy.  Ankylo and Quackpot, coming out of their hiding spots, drew their attention away from Genghis, allowing him to land his ship and wait for the final flier to reach the surface.  
During his descent, the helicopter pilot un holstered his gun, firing on Genghis while shooting a long drawn-out, “Cobraaaa!”
Genghis scoffed, withdrew his Fossilizer pistol and fired at the parachuter, scoring a direct hit.  The pilot turned to stone, adding hundreds of pounds to the parachute and causing it to fail. The now statue plummeted to the earth and shattered into a pile of rubble.
As the surrendered pilots were escorted back to Genghis by Ankylo, the leader of the Tyrannos hissed, “Cobras have nothing on a Tyrannosaurus Rex!”
 Click here for Cobra Commander's respect post.  Click here for Genghis Rex's.

Let's be honest here - did anyone expect Cobra Commander to win?  Even with a number of his troops tagging along with him, he was hopelessly outgunned.  Cobra Commander himself is a liability, jumping right into battle without a plan, relying only on his over-inflated ego to win, which has never worked for him.  Genghis might be stupid, but she's shown to be a decent shot and okay in a fight.  He's got way more powerful weapons and vehicles as well.  I think that even if Cobra Commander had brought on the full might of his entire terrorist organization, he'd still have lost to the technologically superior and more ruthless Tyrannos.

The Winner
To see the winner of the last round - Hordak vs. Hun-Dred, click here.  And to see the rest of the Bad Guy Beatdown matches, click here.

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Bad Guy Breakdown Round 14 - Genghis Rex

Before I go any further, I want to say one thing about Dinosaucers: it's way goofier than I remember. You know how most cartoons have a bad guy that's just kinda stupid? Always screws everything up and makes you wonder why the leader keeps them along? Well, this cartoon had two of those guys on the good side. It's just weird seeing one of the good guys doing the bumbling for once. Granted, there's still a few of these on the bad guys, the Tyrannos side, but it's just telling of the direction this show goes.

As an example of how dumb most of these guys are, in the second episode, Genghis Rex, the leader of the Tyrannos, decided to collect a fortune. Why a dinosaur-looking alien needs money, I'm not sure, but they decide to collect diamonds. And off they go to Houston. Why? Because it has the largest diamond - a baseball diamond.

On the way there though, they get tricked by a gas station owner to spend all their money, $47, on a metal detector to search for gold in the desert, then tricked again into giving the treasure chest they happen to find to the owner. Instead of just attacking this guy, they give away all the money they had, and I'm not even sure how they got that. In a sea of shows that made no sense, Dinosaucers was one of the most ridiculous. And I loved that!

Anyway onto our fighter. Genghis Rex is a big red alien from the planet of Reptilon and leader of its evil population. His usual quest is to steal the secret to Dinovolving, the good guys' technology that allowed a Dinosaucers to turn into a full-fledged dinosaur while keeping their intelligence and ability to talk.

While he doesn't have the ability to change into a smart Dino, he does have a weapon called a devolver, a pistol that has the ability to turn its target into a mindless dinosaur, or if it hits a human, devolve it into a Neanderthal. Another weapon in his arsenal is a fossilizer, which turns its target, be it Dinosaucers, human, or intimate object into stone. Genghis also had his own personal ship, equipped with lasers and grabber claws.

So what can we say about Genghis Rex himself? He's not particularly smart or brave, as he ran away from the Neanderthal he created without any fight. He's not terribly strong either, though he was able to swing another Dinosaucer around by his tail. Then again, punching a cardboard cutout didn't break it and hitting his Ankylosaurus minion on the head made him shake his hand in pain. Still, I'd say he's stronger than any human, but not by much.

Genghis Rex's biggest advantage is his weaponry, easily. Besides that, he's pretty lackluster, which is so disappointing considering he's got a T Rex head. You would think he'd be scary, but when a gas station owner doesn't bat an eye at you, you're far from scary.

I want to apologise again for the lack of pictures. I normally write these on the computer at night or early morning but since my son has changed his sleep schedule, I haven't found the time at home. I do this at work now on my phone and reception there stinks.

If you want to check out Genghis Rex's opponent for next week's battle, Cobra Commander from G.I. Joe, click here. And check back here next week to see them go toe-to-claw.