BGBD - Skeletor vs the Queen of the Crown

Back when I started Old School Evil in 2018, I ran a tournament called the Bad Guy Beatdown to find out who was the best villain in 1980s cartoons. Megatron vs. Shredder, Skeletor vs. Mumm-Ra - all of the big bads kicking each other's butts. Instead of just being straight-up wishful thinking that only the coolest would survive, I analyzed the episodes to determine who would truly come out victorious. Once I figured out the winner, I wrote up a short story to showcase the fight. While I didn't finish the entire tournament, I still have a big collection of fan-fic short stories that haven't been online in years. I'm changing that now and will start reposting the short stories, minus the trappings of my research - just bad guys beating up other bad guys.

The first match featured Skeletor of Masters of the Universe fame taking on the Queen of the Crown from Adventures of the Galaxy Rangers.

“Skeletor!” Evil-Lyn shrieked through a mental projection into Snake Mountain’s throne room.

The skull-faced evil warrior sat up from his chair where he was spinning a crystal and contemplating his next move against Castle Grayskull. The witch’s face materialized in the glass sphere sitting atop the bony table in front of him. “What do you want, witch?” he yelled.

“I’ve been captured! You must free me!” she cried. The vision the viewer displayed showed her locked in a glass cylinder in the middle of a mechanical red room.

“A telepathic call for help?” another voice asked within Evil-Lyn’s proximity. The vision before Skeletor shimmered and was replaced by a purple face wearing a spindly crown. “Is this the master you spoke of betraying?”

“Who are you?” Skeletor shouted, leaning into the image.

“I am the Queen of the Crown!” she returned with the same incredulous tone he had used. “Monarch of the Crown Empire and your new ruler!”

“What?!” Skeletor stood up and shook his hands in the air. “Skeletor has no ruler!”

“Once I steal the magic-infused life-force of your traitorous minion here, I’ll raise an army of Slaver Lords to take over your measly planet before moving on to the rest of the galaxy.” The image reverted to Evil-Lyn, still stuck inside the transparent tube, but now the mechanical implements at the top had come to life with electric sparks.

“Skeletor, you must save me!”

“And why should I, Evil-Lyn? What was this I heard about betrayal?”

“I sensed the queen as she approached Eternia and made contact with her, hoping to expand our reach beyond our planet. Of course, I would have negotiated you a place high in her empire, Lord Skeletor. I --”

The device in Evil-Lyn’s tube surged with electricity and coursed through the witch’s body, sending a scream through Skeletor’s crystal ball loud enough to crack its surface.

“I should let the Queen do whatever she wants to you for turning against me again, fool. However, no one threatens to take over Eternia but me!” He held his Havoc Staff over his head and disappeared in a flash.

Within the lab on board her starship, the blue-skinned man shimmered into existence directly before the Queen.

“That’s his real face?” one of her guards said as he materialized.

“And I thought Killbane was ugly.”

“Silence, fools!” the Queen said. The two agents snapped to attention.

“Release Evil-Lyn now,” Skeletor demanded, pointing his staff at the glass tube still cascading electricity through her. The ram’s head glowed in white light.

“How dare you come to my ship and order me around!” the Queen screamed. She relented and a sly smile curled her lips. “Feel free to take her once I’ve extracted her life-force, though. I’ll even let you leave this ship with her. But know this: When I’ve created a super Slaver Lord with her psychocrystal, I’ll be sending it after you first.”

“No one threatens me!” Skeletor shouted, blasting a white beam of energy at Evil-Lyn’s prison and shattering the glass holding her. Evil-Lyn collapsed out of it and, with another flash of light from the staff’s head, Skeletor teleported her off the ship.

“No!” the Queen screamed, pointing at the console to her left. “I hadn’t drained enough life-force from her to even power an ordinary Slaver Lord!” She turned her attention to Skeletor, who even without the flesh on his face, she knew grinned at thwarting her. “Crown agents, seize him! If I cannot steal the witch’s life-force, I will steal this monster’s!” The two agents at her side aimed their rifles at him.

Skeletor’s head craned back with a hearty laugh. He pointed his staff at the two guards and a spray of green gas erupted towards them. In a moment, the two agents collapsed to the floor in a deep sleep. He turned the staff towards the Queen. “I expected more from you!” he said with another deep laugh.

“Oh, I have better!” She swiped her hand toward the evil warrior, and a wave of pink telekinetic energy surged outward.

Skeletor held up his hand to the attack, reflecting the energy from his palm and sending it above her. She lunged to the right just in time to avoid the falling debris. “Let me show you true power!” He pointed his staff to the throne behind her and blasted it, destroying the chair in a cloud of smoke.

Shielding herself from the rubble, she cried out. Suddenly, the white-robed figures stationed around the room jumped to life, surrounding Skeletor. One grabbed the middle of his staff and attempted to rest it from his hands. Over the blank face of the figure, the holographic image of the Queen appeared with a wicked smile. While the others grasped at Skeletor and struggled to take him down, the Queen-faced figure cackled, “You’ll make a fine addition to my Slaver Lords!”

“No!” Skeletor screamed, shooting a beam of light from one of his fingers into the Slaver-Lord’s face, obscuring the illusion floating above it. He slammed the end of the staff to the ground and a shining blast exploded, blinding the Slaver Lords around him and causing the Queen, who had been watching through each of their eyes, to cry out in pain. The figures surrounding Skeletor collapsed to the ground.

“A neat trick,” Skeletor gloated. “I could use some minions like those instead of the bumbling boob you captured.”

As the Queen struggled to get to her feet, she concentrated what was left of her mental powers on the blue-skinned foe. She reached out telepathically, sending out a wave of maddening energy deep within his mind.

Skeletor clutched at his skull and fell to his knees, his staff clamoring on the ground beside him. Images of the Queen danced in his burning consciousness.

She advanced on him, holding her fingers to her temples. “You were a fool for coming here, Skeletor. My mental powers are at their strongest within this ship.”

Leaning on his staff, he shakily got to his feet, resisting the Queen’s psionic assault. “Then I shall turn the ship against you.” He fired a blast at her feet from his fingers. The floor rumbled before the metal sheeting ripped up and curled into a cage around her, pulling her hands down to her waist. “You have impressive power,” he said in a low voice. “I cannot deny that.” He snatched the glowing red jewel from the chest of one of the Slaver Lords lying at his feet. “Power that will help me finally defeat He-Man and rule Eternia.”

He crushed the gem in his hand. The psionic feedback flooded the Queen’s mind, and she cried out in pain. Skeletor destroyed two more before rendering the Queen unconscious.

As he destroyed each psychocrystal, the Slaver Lord attached to it shimmered from existence. He shattered the gem from the final Slaver Lord for good measure.

With all his enemies in the Psychocrypt defeated, Skeletor took the glowing crystal from the machine that siphoned Evil-Lyn’s life force and affixed it to his Havoc Staff between the ram’s horns. A new midnight blue Slaver Lord materialized before him with a glowing skull floating over its hooded head. Skeletor roared with laughter as the Queen lay comatose at his feet.